Palamedes Sextus

(Application for Well)

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Palamedes keeps up a careful, steady pace as he walks across the city from the boardwalk to his apartment building. It takes every ounce of his not-insignificant self-control for him to do so, every instinct telling him to run until he is out of breath, or to stop where he is in the middle of the road and put pen to paper to make sense of what Gideon has told him.

Gideon didn’t die. The revelation is so great that Palamedes hasn’t even begun to consider what strange Darrow mechanism had caused the memories to enter her mind. What she had told him, as they shivered over their chipped mugs of tea, had been more strange, more wild, more world-changing than solving Darrow’s mysteries ever could be.

And there had been other things, too—stranger and more wild, that hinted at thousand-year conspiracies and a fundamental rottenness at the heart of all he has ever known.

Palamedes doesn’t even notice if Cam is home when he flies into the apartment and makes a beeline for his room. Technically, the Master Warden is incapable of forgetting an idea once it has taken root; in practice, like all good scholars, he believes in writing everything down.

He closes the door and leans against it with his eyes tightly shut, only to see familiar words emblazoned across his eyelids. He lied to us.

When Pal had asked Gideon if she knew what these revelations meant, really meant, she had said she did, but Palamedes doesn’t think that’s quite true. It isn’t her fault; Pal hasn’t expounded much on those last few minutes of his life, telling himself it is because he doesn’t have enough evidence to support his theories, but knowing, deep down, that his avoidance has a lot more to do with his own fears.

Still, they all understand pieces of it: Cam knows nearly as well as he does how they had picked at the lyctorhood theorem, trying to make it less awful in its conclusions, trying to make it right; Harrow, in her wild effort to keep some piece of Gideon whole, had, as usual, found a solution by awful instinct; Gideon, poor Gideon, now knows more intimately than all of them the sort of indifference their God is capable of.

Now, Palamedes Sextus has to put it all together and present his awful, terrifying, wonderful conclusion.

He sits down at the desk in the corner of the room and begins to write.

He doesn’t stop until morning.

Palamedes has been in Darrow for two weeks, and the days have begun to blend together. Some days, he stays up so late that it’s nearly early, other times he rises before the sun. Most days he works on theorems that have begun to wallpaper his apartment, or sips tea in Gideon’s kitchen, or surrounds himself with a citadel of books in some corner of the public library. Darrow has yet to give up its secrets, but Palamedes is still determined, and he often pontificates at Gideon about his latest theories. Sometimes he talks to the kitchen table instead, since it’s less likely to talk back.

“Warden, you need to get out more,” says the voice in his head—the one he thinks of as Camilla’s—as he paces his apartment restlessly. She’s right, of course. Camilla usually is. On impulse, he picks up his phone and texts one of the few people he actually knows in this strange city.

Mr. Darlington,

Do you like tea? I would be very interested in meeting up to learn more about these portal magicians of yours.

I promise, I’m slightly less of a raving lunatic these days, though my furniture may believe otherwise.

I look forward to your response,

Palamedes Sextus.

Palamedes had written the letter six weeks ago.

Six weeks. Each one had been like a knife being slowly pressed through his hand. He'd floated ghost-like through the Library, and though he remained perfectly professional, people began to whisper about the Warden’s mental state where they thought he couldn’t hear. Plenty of people knew about his attachment to the Duchess of Rhodes, though all but those closest to him would have been shocked at his rash decision to propose. Poor girl, she wasn’t even supposed to live through the year—what reason would anyone think that the prospect of marriage was what troubled the young Warden’s mind? The most common diagnosis was simple exhaustion, with a side of he is still quite young, and the responsibility is vast, which would have annoyed Pal thoroughly if he had been in any state to notice.

Camilla knows about the proposal, of course, though in the weeks he waited for a reply, he did not speak of it. Whenever he tried, the words caught in his throat. He began to treat his studious silence on the matter of Dulcinea as a sort of talisman, as though she would be more likely to say yes if he kept all his hopes and dreams in his heart, and waited patiently.

When the letter arrived from the Seventh House, the Warden immediately shut himself in his study. Hours had passed. He’d been scheduled to attend some tedious dinner; he never appeared.

Palamedes is still in his study when the lights dim as the Library spins away from Dominicus. The letter is still in front of him. He’s read it a hundred times—as though he needed to, as though it hadn’t immediately burned into his memory, as though comprehension required anything beyond the first line.

You know how I hate to cause you pain, my darling boy.

For six weeks it was as though a knife had slowly been pressed into his hand, and now it twists.