Dear Mr. Postman...

[hellonspectacles]

It’s not that Palamedes means to ignore the messages from Marianne. The day following Harrow’s arrival, his head feels fit to split open, and when he glances at his phone periodically to make sure that Gideon hasn’t sent him a frantic messages, he notes the usual texts from Marianne with a smile, and vows, quite sensibly, to write her back when he can see straight. But he ends up spending most of the next day with the Ninth, arguing with Harrow over this theory and that, only realizing when it has gotten quite late that he has again forgotten.

And then Camilla appears in Darrow, an event that had seemed so astronomically unlikely that he had tried with every fiber of his being not to hope for it, and he is swept up in the miracle of it. The pair talk into the night until their throats are hoarse, they spend days poring over all the evidence Pal has collected about Darrow, sometimes with Harrow and Gideon, sometimes on their own. His promise to return Marianne’s missives becomes more and more distant.

It’s Thursday, and Palamedes is alone while Cam goes for a run—still half-terrified to let her out of his sight, he’d offered to go with her, and she had just looked at him—when his phone buzzes. It’s only a reminder that he has books due at the library, but it makes him realize, to his horror, that he had never replied to Marianne. Without quite knowing why, his stomach twists at the thought that she might be angry at him.

He opens their text chain and writes,

Marianne,

I hope you will accept my most sincere apology. I fear that, in my unconscionable silence, I have revealed something that I have attempted to keep from you: necromantic powers alone are not enough to keep me from being a complete jackass from time to time. My week has been unexpectedly eventful—please understand that this is an explanation, not an excuse.

In answer to your earlier messages: I like the first sunglasses best, I wasn’t free for coffee on Friday (explanation forthcoming), and Orlando was really quite remarkable.

Are you free for lunch this weekend? I would like to apologize in person.

Palamedes Sextus, Master Warden of Dunces, etc.

Comments

[hellonspectacles]

“Does it?” Palamedes blinks owlishly at her. “I- But- Really?” He thinks back over their conversation, but can’t think of anything that would have signaled that Cam is anything but what she is.

“Necromancers and cavaliers are never romantically involved. Well, not never—“ he begins to clarify, and then shakes his head, “almost never, and in any case, that’s beside the point.” Pal knew that he would have to explain the bond between necromancers and cavaliers, but he hadn’t expected to need to so soon, and to Marianne. Things always seem so easy with her, it can be a simple thing to forget how much she doesn’t know about his world, about the things he innately takes for granted. “She’s my oldest, dearest friend, and there’s no one I care about more. But it’s more than that, you’re right about that.” For a few moments he considers his next words, unconsciously taking off his glasses and turning them over in his hand. “We’re bonded. Not romantically. In essence, we’ve sworn to protect each other.”

[quickestgirl]

Something in Marianne's chest softens - something else tenses. She looks at her wine glass for a long moment and then looks up at him.

"That sounds nice," she says. "Having someone you're that sure of."

[hellonspectacles]

Palamedes smile is hopeful, but uncertainty wavers in his eyes. He can’t tell if he has said the right thing, if she understands, if she is upset with him for some unknown reason. It’s maddening.

“Oh, it helps that we have to take oaths and things. It’s all very dramatic,” he quips. “But,” he shrugs, “I have a hard time imagining my life without her.”

[quickestgirl]

"Oaths. Sounds like it. So it is...kind of like a marriage, then? But platonic?" She's still trying to get her head around it, trying to figure out the details; knowing the two of them, wanting to like Cam, it feels important to understand it properly. "I have...had...someone at home like that. Nothing that formal, though. We...let each other down a lot."

[hellonspectacles]

The comparison makes Palamedes smile a little, though it really isn't a bad one. "I hadn't thought of that, but I suppose you're right. And like marriage, it can take many forms," he muses.

He tips his head to the side, watching her gently. "I'm sorry, then. That they aren't here, and that things were not always easy between you."

[quickestgirl]

"We were...wrapped up on each other," she says. She can't see any reason to lie to him about Connell. "And we weren't always good for each other because of it." She shrugs. "Kids don't always make good choices."

[hellonspectacles]

Palamedes thinks of Dulcinea, and a lump rises in his throat. For all his talk of speaking truths, he has never mentioned her to Marianne. He can't quite say why.

Perhaps the answer is simple: it just hurts too much.

He smiles sadly after a moment. "No, they don't. And I suppose it's easiest to be cruel to the people we know best, unfortunately."

[quickestgirl]

She watches something fragile and sad fleet across his face and wonders, not for the first time, how much she doesn't know about him.

"Well, they say that familiarity breeds contempt, right?"

[hellonspectacles]

"They do say that." This time he thinks of the Third House trio, who seemed to love and despise each other in equal measure, and who had all suffered, in one way or another, because of the strange balance of power among them.

"Not all necromancer and cavalier pairs like each other. There's always a deep connection, but it isn't always a friendly one. Plenty of contempt to go around in those cases, I'd guess."

[quickestgirl]

"Well if you stick with the marriage analogy, then I guess plenty of those are unhappy," she says, thinking of her parents and for poisonous they could be. "I'm glad that's not you and Cam though."

[hellonspectacles]

Pal hums in agreement. He had long known they were fortunate, and their experience at Canaan House had made it all the more clear. "We weren't officially paired until I became Warden, but my mother once said we'd been training for it since the moment we met." He grins a little at the memory. Coming from Zeta, the statement had been awfully close to an expression of maternal pride.

[quickestgirl]

"I've never had anyone like that," says Marianne, shaking her head. "Not my whole life. I didn't really make proper friends until University, I don't think. And my brother doesn't like me very much."